April 13, 2012 Guangzhou first day

It was another grueling day of travel. According to David, "All we do in this freaking country is wait in airports." Lol. We had another flight delay, and we sat in the airport for 3 hours, and it wasn’t really that bad. It just annoys some of us (not me, I’m immune) to be constantly stared at and questioned by strangers. We look odd, and they are extremely curious (my words) and extremely rude (David and John’s words). I suggested to John that he just sit with his ear buds in his ears and pretend that his MP3 player doesn’t have a dead battery. Or maybe he could be honest, and say, I really don’t want to answer your questions, it makes me uncomfortable. I remember after Kenny died, total strangers would come up to me and ask the rudest questions, such as, "How are you paying your mortgage?" And "Can I have his new golf clubs. I know he’d like me to have them. "I guess I developed a thicker skin after that debacle, and I also just chalk it up to cultural differences. The best part of the whole trip, according to David, is watching Chinese KungFu movies. John loves to watch them, and David makes up entire dialogues, in English, to go with the scenes. Really, it could make anyone almost wet their pants. If you don’t know him, David has a warped sense of humor. In the midst of what is a stressful time in any family, an adoption, David brings levity. David inserts what he thinks is appropriate dialogue, but he says things like "I am Santa Claus. Wait, I will get my red suit and defeat you!" By the way, the flight from Harbin to Guangzhou was no picnic. DangTong refused to sit in his seat, and was only happy on my lap. The seats on this plane were very close together, and it was impossible to lower the tray table to eat with him on my lap. And it was hot. But when I tried to shift him to his seat, next to mine, he screamed loudly and kicked like crazy. I quickly acquiesced, just to avoid more attention. Did I mention that he’s a momma’s boy? Finally, DongTong agreed to torment Baba for awhile, and I switched DangTong for Fu, KangChao. Fu, KangChao usually looks for space between us. While all this was going on, John and Ben, of course, just slept on the plane; traveling is old hat to them. Interestingly enough, the fact that DangTong really, really wants his momma has influenced Fu, KangChao. Up until now, he’s pretty much rejected both David and me, and he has only responded to our teenaged son John. We understand that this is normal for a child who feels he has been "stolen" from his foster parents. His loyalties indicate that he had relationships, we know, and that is good. But today, Fu KangChao is beginning to ask me to pick him up (I carry DangTong everywhere), and he suddenly kissed me on the airplane, for no apparent reason. So, Fu, KangChao seems to be picking up on the cues that I’m a good momma, and maybe he should also get in on the action while the getting is good.

We finally arrived in Guangzhou, and at the Garden Hotel. Hooray! Civilization! The Garden Hotel is a westernized hotel, where even the maids and room service speak English. We will have electric all the time (unlike in Beijing) air-conditioning (which didn’t work in Jinan), and all the western amenities. I can even order wine with dinner!! Whoo Hooo! The hotel in Harbin is second rate, at best, and honestly, I’m tired of camping. The endless hours in the hotel will be much more tolerable now. Also, we just found out that there is another family here who has a son John’s age, who was also adopted 2 years ago. If they get alone, this part of the trip might be great!

Adoption day of DangTong

April 12 2012

After breakfast (the boys only ate rice and orange, in spite of the huge buffet), we navigated through the snowy streets to return to the Civil Affairs office to complete the paperwork. In Heilongjiang Province (city of Harbin) all the paperwork is completed in one central location. This made it much easier for us all. It was one-stop shopping, so to speak. DangTong became quite the momma’s boy in the offices, refusing to leave my lap. The orphanage director and a few teachers were present, and DangTong did shed a few small tears when he saw them. However, when the director asked DangTong to come to her (he was on my lap) he flatly refused. She laughed and commented that he is bonding well with his momma. Because we were not allowed to actually visit the orphanage, we gave the orphanage director a large cash donation (in addition to the adoption expenses) to help the waiting children. She presented us with a written donation certificate, to show accountability. As I’ve mentioned before, DangTong is several years behind developmentally, and that stems from the orphanage being in a more rural area and lacking provisions. The whole adoption process took about an hour total. We will receive DangTong’s passport tomorrow morning, and head to Guangzhou (a five hour flight) to complete the U.S. consulate part of the adoption process. The rest of our trip will seem like the movie “Ground Hog Day.” We basically get up, eat, and kill time in the room. It snowed quite a bit this morning, so we can’t even take the kids out for a walk. I didn’t bring boots or warm enough jackets. I knew we were only here for a couple of days, and decided that winter gear would be too much to pack. Right now, David and John are playing DS, and the little boys are playing with the balloons I packed.

Thursday morning

It’s Thursday morning here in China, and I thought I’d write more of my impressions of the boys. Sam (Fu, KangChao) is like a typical six year old. He likes to play ball, shooting games, and computer games. He figured out the main electric panel that controls the all the different lights and the TV in about two minutes flat. As I mentioned earlier, Sam already tried to out muscle Ben. Luckily, Ben outweighs him by 10 lbs because Ben is not a dominant personality. Sam likes to wrestle and play physically, and he can be rambunctious at times. We already know that he has a great capacity to love, and we can tell already that he is going to fit in with family quite well.

DangTong (Leo) just explores everything. He takes things out of the bathroom and puts them in his backpack, then takes them out again. He knows how to sort the army men by color, and he likes to stand on the chair and look at the river out our hotel window. Leo carries around a water bottle (or crackers or candy), and offers it to each of us, one at a time. Dang Tong is much quieter and more cuddly. He likes to sit on my lap, and he is left-handed. Both the boys seem to be in great health, although DongTong has lots of pock marks on his face from what I presume was the chicken pox. So far, we’ve yet to see Leo eat anything other than candy or crackers. When his stash is gone, we’re hoping he’ll eat at least rice.

Today we will go back to the Civil Affairs office to make our adoption of DangTong final. Then we’ll go to the notary (which is similar to our court) and the police station to apply for his passport. In this province, we will be able to get his passport within 24 hours. We still don’t have a passport for Sam, which is why we will need to stay in Guangzhou a whole week. We need to wait five days for Sam’s passport to be issued from Jianan, then apply for his US visa at the consulate in Guangzhou on the 20^th.

Wednesday night

April 11 2012 afternoon

After our naps, we gave the two littlest boys baths for the first time. Both Leo and Sam liked the bath, and they both knew how to soap themselves down etc. As I mentioned before, our children have all been well-trained in hygiene and neatness! At around 5pm, we ventured over to the local Pizza Hut for dinner. David is already tired of Chinese food, and Pizza is pizza. At least the food is closer to pizza than to Chinese food. Leo (Dang Tong) is, as I’ve mentioned, more like a 3 year old than an almost 5 year old (his birthday is April 25)). We had to remove the salt and pepper from the table, and watch him play with all the silverware while we ate. I don’t think Dang Tong (Leo) ate a bite of food; instead he pulled some biscuits out of his pocket. Sam (Fu, KangChao) ate ½ a slice of pizza, but by the end of the meal he began melt-down number 2. We had to scoop him up and run to the hotel, once again, with a sobbing child, screaming for his Baba. We are trying to teach John how to comfort Fu, KangChao, since he has attached exclusively to John for now. John is not quite 16 years old yet, and I’m sure he was never comforted as a child. As soon as Fu, KangChao begins crying, John begins to distance himself—which sends Sam (Fu, KangChao) right over the edge. John wants to say things like "Shut up. You’re embarrassing us." We are trying to show John that all Fu, KangChao needs is for him to rub his back and coo things like, "Everything will be ok." Fortunately, this melt-down was shorter than the other night, and then it’s as if it never happened. During this crisis though, Ben also started sobbing. Yes, it’s that heartbreaking to watch him crying for his father. Less than 10 minutes afterwards, the kids are all singing the theme song to the Pleasant Goat cartoon, and all is well. While I’m happy it’s resolved, for tonight, both John and David are building up a serious anger for the orphanage director who let Fu, KangChao believe they were his Mom and Dad. We’ve decided that we can’t eat dinner outside of the hotel for awhile. As Ben said, dinner is when he lost his dad. We better just eat dinner in the room.

More pictures

Some pictures