Shopping! And governments making adoption even more difficult--grr

I'll start this post by being upbeat. I prefer to look on the bright side of things, so I'll blog about the things I'm doing to get ready to go get our boys! Last week, just before we left on vacation, I bought another car seat. Ben is over the age of 8, so he can legally wear a regular seatbelt now. We'll let Sam take over Ben's carseat next month We still needed a carseat for Leo though. After much research and hours of shopping, I finally made the all important purchase. Then, upon reflection, I ended up returning it. Why, you ask? Because I realized that if the two boys don't have the EXACT SAME carseat, there will be trouble. I've come to accept that siblings fight, constantly, over the dumbest things. I don't want to have one boy decide that the other carseat is the better one of the two. Yes, it's ridiculous, but I have to anticipate the feelings of inequity and head them off at the pass. I also bought three of the exact same cameras for Ben, Sam, and Leo. I remember that Ben was thrilled to have a camera in China, and he took thousands of digital pictures when we adopted him. Now, all three boys can capture photos of their adoption trip. If they take enough photos, the odds are good that a few of them will be worth printing! When we were in Florida last week, I purchased three sets of water wings for the boys. Ben loved the pool from the minute he joined our family, but he couldn't swim of course. I'm happy that we are going to Guangzhou a little later in the year this time, so that the swimming pool there should be open. I was looking at bathing suits for Sam and Leo, but I'm waiting for an update on Sam's weight before buying them. Then I bought gifts for the guides etc. I read that they like to receive cosmetics and cigarettes, but both of those items are so NOT ME. I found, instead, what I think is the perfect gift for anyone. Novelty flash drives! I bought a few that looked like Tweety bird, Wiley Coyote, Star Wars guys, and three of the "Angy Bird" ones. Our exchange students all told me that electronics are more expensive in China than here, which is weird, since they are made in China. But I believe them. Xiao took home a suitcase of electronics when he returned to China. So, small, easy to pack, cute, flash drives will be the gifts. All these preparations make me sad for those parents who wish to adopt, but are stopped by the barriers governments put into place. Now, the CCCWA (the entity that controls adoptions in China) is going to change the rules and make it more difficult for families to bring home waiting children. There are so very many special needs children waiting, but the "Special Focus" category is only going to be offered to boys in the future, who have significant special needs. Statistically, quite a few more girls are adopted than boys, and supposedly China is trying to bring the numbers in balance. However, there are also more girls abandoned because of the one child policy. Also, the CCCWA is going to stop letting adoptive parents re-use their dossier, and limit adoptions to a single child. If you recall, we decided to pursue our adoptions in December of 2010, because we were allowed to reuse our dossier. It made the adoptions more affordable and we had to do less paperwork. We also believe adopting two children at once is much more practical than adopting one this year, and another the following year. Honestly, I think these changes that are being implemented only add to the costs for adoptive parents, and many folks won't be able to add to their families through adoption. The list of waiting children will grow, and the children will suffer. It's just sad. It does make me appreciate that we put in our application when we did though!! I am, once again, very happy that we didn't let others influence our decision to adopt. If we waited several years, we would have found that we wouldn't qualify anymore. God is good.

Travel Approval!

On Feb. 16th, on the way to the airport for our vacation, we received a message that our agency had our TRAVEL APPROVAL! David immediately suggested that we change our vacation plans and fly to China to get our boys that very day. Not to rain on his parade, but I had to point out that we didn't have a consulate appointment scheduled, and we also don't have our Chinese visas yet. I have to mail our passports to get the visas, and we need our passports for our vacation first. So...off we went on our last expensive family vacation! Once we add two more little ones, we'll probably stay home during school breaks. It was lovely taking a vacation without having to stalk my email waiting for the travel approval. So, we're all set. Our house-sitter took great care of our dogs, and I feel comfortable having her here when we fly to China too. Everything seems to be coming together, fourteen months after deciding to adopt again. Wow!

In an instant

Again, I was reminded that our lives can change in an instant.  In 2002, my husband died (fell off a boat) in  the blink of an eye. Yesterday, Austin (our 16 year old) missed the mats when high jumping, and was knocked unconscious. He's going to be ok, but he did have a seizure and had to be taken to the hospital by ambulance. I could have lost my son, in less than a second. Makes me especially grateful today for the gift of my children.
Speaking of gifts, the chairman of Rustic Pathways called Austin on Sunday to interview him. Then on Monday, I received an email outlining the grant that they have selected for Austin for this summer. Amazingly enough, Austin received a scholarship to spend two weeks in BURMA, and one week in Thailand (volunteering at an orphanage)! From Thailand, he can then fly to Beijing and attend the program that we originally selected for him, which includes 100 hours of Chinese language lessons and 75 hours of community service (teaching English to disadvantaged children). Wow!! What a fabulous opportunity for a 16 year old boy! Now, I just have to figure out how to pay for the airfare. 

Power of Attorney!

Yesterday, I filled out (and had notarized) 8 power of attorney forms. Yes, 8! Two for each child, from each parent. However, I wrote both boys' names on each document, and that wasn't correct. Today, I redid the forms, got them notarized again, and then took them to the county office to have the notary seal officially "verified." That cost $24. Now I have to send the forms to an office in NYC to get authenicated or verified at the state level. That will cost $80. Then we need to hire a courier to hand carry the documents to the embassy in Washington DC. That will cost $297!! I could take them there myself, but it will cost me more than $300 in gas, not to mention that it's an 8 hour drive. All this, JUST IN CASE, we need it. We are going to Heilongjiang Province to adopt Leo first, since it's the furthest north, and then we'll fly to Shangdong Province. However, Heilongjiang is known NOT to expedite the paperwork just to accommodate adoptive parents' schedules. We might have to split up, and have one of us continue down to Shandong Province alone to adopt Sam, to keep our trip on schedule. If that happens, we'll need the power of attorney forms. Ugh. Then sometime next week, David will have to draw up NYS power of attorney forms to leave with the caregivers of Austin and Connor so that they can act on our behalf for the benefit of our children. Again, just in case. I have found that if we prepare for the worst, everything turns out just fine. Prayers that this trip goes smoothly and we don't need the documents I'm spending $400 to prepare!

Travel

There has been a huge discussion on our yahoo groups about the costs of traveling to China. Now, more than ever, I am grateful for my 10+ years as a corporate travel agent. I do not feel held "hostage" by the agency's "travel package" because I do my own research and book most everything myself. In 2010, we only saw our guides/drivers during the official appointments anyway, so I didn't feel compelled to spend a ton on tips/gifts for them either. It's worth noting, if you ever decide to adopt, that some agencies charge twice as much for travel as the trip actually costs, which is completely unethical. More children would be adopted if the process wasn't so darned expensive!! Speaking of expensive, this weekend I drove John, Connor and Ben to Ft. Meade Maryland (7+hour car-ride) to participate in a taekwondo tournament. Connor captured gold for sparring and forms, John took a bronze in forms and a gold in sparring, and Ben took a silver in sparring. Once again, I'm a proud momma!! Austin received a phone call from a DIFFERENT exchange/travel company, one that he applied to a long time ago, and they are going to offer him a full scholarship for a summer program! Whoo hoo! Now we just have to compare the two programs and decide which one is right for him. Hooray!

New photos! and OMG a video!

We received two new photos of Dang, Tong (Leo)!!! And a video!! Tears of joy were streaming down my face. This is the first real glimpse we've had of his personality. Up until now, we've only had one little face shot, and he looks completely different now, so it's a very,very good thing we received the photos or we might not even recognize him!  By the way, I stopped posting any photos on my blog for two reasons: 1) I signed a contract with our agency that states I won't put my child's photo anywhere online, and 2) there are wayyy too many crazy people online. When I get time, hopefully this week, I'm going to take off all the photos I already posted. I will add them back in when I "blog to book" for the boys, and then take them all off again. A huge nuisance, but necessary. I had a follower send me a lifesaving email today telling me that our SS.# is viewable on one of our photos. Yikes!! We also received some answers to our questions.
1. Did he receive the photo album that we sent?

Yes.
2. He will be the youngest of six boys! Is Dang,Tong a spirited, lively boy?

He is active, lively and timid.
3. What games does he like to play?

Bounce the ball.

4. Does he like to play outside?

Yes.
5.Does he like dogs?

He has never had dog around him.
6. What is his favorite food?

Cracker and fruit.

7. Can the SWI send us a video of Dang, Tong?

See attachment
8. Does Dang, Tong use the toilet by himself?

Yes, he is fully potty trained.
9. Does Dang,Tong go to sleep by himself? Is he afraid of the dark?

He sleeps by himself. He is not afraid of the dark.

10. His updated measurements:

Height: 108cm; Weight: 16kg; Foot: 20. Head: 50cm; Chest: 56cm.

I'm still waiting to receive a video!!!!!!

On another note, today we are driving to Maryland (7 hours) so that the boys can participate in a taekwondo competition. They have four tournaments (all over the east coast), before they can go to nationals in Dallas in June.I hope the new little guys don't get car sick!

Update on Leo! Little Leo is Big!

We just received Leo's current measurements! He is 108cm tall (42 inches), he weighs 16kg (35.2 pounds) and his feet are 20cm long. Wow. Leo is bigger at age 4 than Ben was when we adopted him at age 6 1/2! In fact, he's only 9 pounds and 5 inches smaller than Ben is now! I take that as a good thing though. He's eating well, apparently. Also, Leo is from Daqing, far north, (almost to Mongolia), and the people in that region are known to be larger. Hopefully, we'll receive updated information on Sam soon too. I wonder if Sam, who is 18 months older than Leo, will be smaller. I hope big brother Ben isn't upset when little brother gets taller than him.