Preparing for the worst! Hoping for the Best.

Lately, my friends have been asking me to commit to activities that are in the future. There's a muddy obstacle course run in September that promises to be a blast, and a bunch of my friends are racing it. Normally, I LOVE, LOVE to plan in advance. I used to sign up for 26 mile marathons a year in advance, and then I trained accordingly. This lack of "a plan" is one of the reasons adoption is a big challenge for me. I am stepping out of my box. Until our new sons are all settled, healthy and happy,  I can't  plan anything. I keep telling people that I have to prepare for the worst, and hope for the best. I've told my morning work-out partner that I won't be joining her for our 7:30-9:30 cardio "after China." I'll try to workout in our home gym or on the rowing machine while the boys play, but I may have to take a break for awhile. I'm already scouting Craigslist for a double jogging stroller, just in case I need to revert back to running (oy, my aching knees).  I recently told my afternoon kickboxing friends that I won't be at our 12-1pm class "after China."  I MIGHT be able to attend my three times a week taekwondo class, IF the boys are happy watching cartoons in the playroom while I train. I won't know that for a month or so. Our date night yoga class is definitely a thing of the past. Don't get me wrong. I'm not complaining. I'm just realistic. Our foster children (ages 2, 3, 5 & 8) were extremely needy, and I had to focus on their needs first. I'm fortunate that our children "get it" and they do not seem to resent the sacrifices we will all need to make. This weekend, at a taekwondo tournament in Connecticut, I told the other parents of the competition team that our sons won't be going to the Junior Olympics (in Dallas) in June, and the other parents seemed shocked. Yes, our sons are the most talented athletes on the team, and they easily qualified for Nationals. However, I can't leave two newly adopted children to schelp off to Dallas for a week. Sorry to let the team down and everything, but our new little ones need their mommy (and new siblings) home with them. Maybe, just maybe, maybe, the little guys will be easy going and well-adjusted. Just maybe we could all go to Dallas for the Jr. Olympics. But really, we won't have the extra cash either. So, as we get excited to travel to China, we also prepare for our lives to become a bit more complex.

Finally!

Finally, a little bit of news. I finally, after weeks of headache, I finally mailed off our applications for our Chinese visas. They normally take 4-5 days to process, and we leave in just over three weeks. For the four of us, the visas cost $770.00 to process!! I also sent the Power of Attorney forms to be couriered to Washington DC for authentication. The Power of Attorney is JUST IN CASE one of us ends up not going to China for some reason. With four children in our family, we have to be ready to change our plans on a dime. This last processing (authentication) of the POA is $230.00. Often, I get frustrated on how much these forms cost to process. Frankly, adoption is expensive, and the children are NOT the ones who benefit from all the fees. I know lots of people who would joyfully adopt children if it wasn't so darned expensive. And I haven't even begun to tally up the cost of the trip to China. I received an email from our agency stating that the internal flights (Beijing to Jinan, Jinan to Harbin, Harbin to Guangzhou) total $2500 per person. Times six. We are closing on our home equity loan tomorrow (on the cottage) so that we will have enough to cover the costs. I'm confident that it will be worth every cent; I just get a bit overwhelmed when I add up the fees. This too shall pass. I have the three boys (Ben, Sam and Leo) all packed now, and I just need to focus on the positive side of adoption. There will be two fewer orphans in the world. Two children will have the love and care of a big, loud, chaotic, loving family.

Visa paperwork---STILL

In March 2010, I had no trouble at all applying for our visa to visit China. This time, however, it's been a big pain in the you know what. The application is a pdf file, and the answers MUST be typed on the form in capital letters. For some reason, I can pull up the form on my computer, but I cannot type in the fields and I keep receiving a message that I need to download simplified Chinese, even though I already downloaded the font package a dozen times. So, I tried on two more laptops, all with different versions of Adobe Reader, with no success. David found that he could type on the pdf form from his computer, but the file will not allow him to print the documents. For weeks I've been working on this issue. I even took my computer to the computer fix-it shop, to see if they could help me. They said that the security settings on the pdf file do not allow editing. I asked the Visa service (Caring Hands) if they would type the information on the form for me, and they will if I handwrite out the forms, scan them in and send them to them, and pay an extra $75! Thanks, but no thanks. Finally, after trying and trying to fill out the visa application, I stopped at my friend's house and tried it on her computer. She has Adobe Pro, and she's a computer geek. Sure enough, I was able to finally complete and print the forms! Hooray! Of course, since I was at a friend's house and in a hurry, I made a few mistakes and I have to go back and retype them tomorrow. But at least I know now that I can complete the visa applications finally.

Church, Visa photos and packing

We've spent most of the day getting ready for the arrival of Sam and Leo! At church today, we were interviewed by Father John for the JSC Foundation grant that we applied for a few months ago. The foundation sent him a list of questions to ask us, and it was wonderful talking about our adoptions without feeling like we were being put on the defensive. If we're very, very lucky, the JSC Foundation might help us with some of the travel expenses. In the meantime, we will be closing on our home equity loan to pay the rest of the adoption costs. Truth be told, adopting these two children is frightfully expensive! But they are so worth every penny, and we'll do whatever it takes to make it happen. Then, we went to Wal-Mart to have our visa/passport photos taken. David and I need 5 passport type photos for the adoptions and the visa application, and Ben and John need one photo for the visa applications. While at the store, I shopped for summer clothes for Ben, Sam and Leo. As much as people complain about Wal-Mart's business practices, I do appreciate the fact that I can buy an entire summer wardrobe (it'll be HOT, HOT, HOT in Gaungzhou in April) for three little boys for less than $100! When we finally got home, I washed and packed the clothes in the suitcases. This means that three boys are half packed for the trip already. Ben bounded around the house, thrilled with his new summer clothes, counting his bounty in Chinese. Interestingly enough, both Ben and John are trying to re-learn their Chinese prior to the trip, and they are super nervous and excited! Only four and a half weeks left until we travel. Boys...hold on...Mommy's coming!

Packing already!

I just packed our first suitcase for China! Only five more weeks until we travel, and I will be completely ready well before the end of March. That's just my way. The first suitcase contains nine novelty flash-drives that I bought for gifts, two make-up kits (again for gifts), three digital cameras for the boys to use, two packages of pull-up diapers (just in case--and they take up a TON of suitcase room), the electric converter box, two boxes of Whales (like goldfish crackers, but better), Cliff bars (like granola bars, but healthier), two super-soft fleece blankets, three packages of balloons and the air pump (the type of balloons that can be made into animals), lice shampoo (just in case), scabies cream (just in case) and a few other little toys for the boys. We will only bring carry-on size suitcases, because I'm a firm believer in traveling light, and I'm hoping we can ditch the diapers and fill the space in with more toys/books/games for the kids once we are there in China. If we need things that I didn't pack, hey, there is a Walmart in Harbin! I also spoke with Elizabeth Rose last night, and she filled me in on our hotel itinerary. We will be in four different cities, Beijing, Harbin, Jinan and Guangzhou, so we have four different hotels booked. Oh My! That's a lot of travel in two weeks!

Shopping! And governments making adoption even more difficult--grr

I'll start this post by being upbeat. I prefer to look on the bright side of things, so I'll blog about the things I'm doing to get ready to go get our boys! Last week, just before we left on vacation, I bought another car seat. Ben is over the age of 8, so he can legally wear a regular seatbelt now. We'll let Sam take over Ben's carseat next month We still needed a carseat for Leo though. After much research and hours of shopping, I finally made the all important purchase. Then, upon reflection, I ended up returning it. Why, you ask? Because I realized that if the two boys don't have the EXACT SAME carseat, there will be trouble. I've come to accept that siblings fight, constantly, over the dumbest things. I don't want to have one boy decide that the other carseat is the better one of the two. Yes, it's ridiculous, but I have to anticipate the feelings of inequity and head them off at the pass. I also bought three of the exact same cameras for Ben, Sam, and Leo. I remember that Ben was thrilled to have a camera in China, and he took thousands of digital pictures when we adopted him. Now, all three boys can capture photos of their adoption trip. If they take enough photos, the odds are good that a few of them will be worth printing! When we were in Florida last week, I purchased three sets of water wings for the boys. Ben loved the pool from the minute he joined our family, but he couldn't swim of course. I'm happy that we are going to Guangzhou a little later in the year this time, so that the swimming pool there should be open. I was looking at bathing suits for Sam and Leo, but I'm waiting for an update on Sam's weight before buying them. Then I bought gifts for the guides etc. I read that they like to receive cosmetics and cigarettes, but both of those items are so NOT ME. I found, instead, what I think is the perfect gift for anyone. Novelty flash drives! I bought a few that looked like Tweety bird, Wiley Coyote, Star Wars guys, and three of the "Angy Bird" ones. Our exchange students all told me that electronics are more expensive in China than here, which is weird, since they are made in China. But I believe them. Xiao took home a suitcase of electronics when he returned to China. So, small, easy to pack, cute, flash drives will be the gifts. All these preparations make me sad for those parents who wish to adopt, but are stopped by the barriers governments put into place. Now, the CCCWA (the entity that controls adoptions in China) is going to change the rules and make it more difficult for families to bring home waiting children. There are so very many special needs children waiting, but the "Special Focus" category is only going to be offered to boys in the future, who have significant special needs. Statistically, quite a few more girls are adopted than boys, and supposedly China is trying to bring the numbers in balance. However, there are also more girls abandoned because of the one child policy. Also, the CCCWA is going to stop letting adoptive parents re-use their dossier, and limit adoptions to a single child. If you recall, we decided to pursue our adoptions in December of 2010, because we were allowed to reuse our dossier. It made the adoptions more affordable and we had to do less paperwork. We also believe adopting two children at once is much more practical than adopting one this year, and another the following year. Honestly, I think these changes that are being implemented only add to the costs for adoptive parents, and many folks won't be able to add to their families through adoption. The list of waiting children will grow, and the children will suffer. It's just sad. It does make me appreciate that we put in our application when we did though!! I am, once again, very happy that we didn't let others influence our decision to adopt. If we waited several years, we would have found that we wouldn't qualify anymore. God is good.

Travel Approval!

On Feb. 16th, on the way to the airport for our vacation, we received a message that our agency had our TRAVEL APPROVAL! David immediately suggested that we change our vacation plans and fly to China to get our boys that very day. Not to rain on his parade, but I had to point out that we didn't have a consulate appointment scheduled, and we also don't have our Chinese visas yet. I have to mail our passports to get the visas, and we need our passports for our vacation first. So...off we went on our last expensive family vacation! Once we add two more little ones, we'll probably stay home during school breaks. It was lovely taking a vacation without having to stalk my email waiting for the travel approval. So, we're all set. Our house-sitter took great care of our dogs, and I feel comfortable having her here when we fly to China too. Everything seems to be coming together, fourteen months after deciding to adopt again. Wow!