Normal family dysfunction

David and I had our strictly scheduled 2 hour date night tonight, and during our "date" we received the email update for Sam. Yes, I check my emails on my smart phone during date night, and yes, I know, I am a bad, bad wife. Give me a break; David was watching March madness too. So, during our date-night, we received a photo of Sam raising his hand at his desk (which is bright pink!), while standing up (and everyone else is seated). He looked like Horschack (spelling?) from Welcome Back Kotter. Ooo, Ooo, Ooo, Pick me!! So DARN CUTE. I wish that I could post the photos of our boys, but I signed a contract with our agency that I won't post their photos until they are legally our sons. Although virtually every other adoption blog has photos of waiting children, I signed the agreement to keep our sons' identities private, and I stick to my word. After looking at the new photos of Sam, we began to talk about our 6 sons, our aspirations for them, our dreams and hopes, and of course our own misspent youth. Yes, our dates are DEEP. Ha. Ha. Anyway, David's earliest traumatic memory is when he was in Kindergarten (or maybe first grade), and he brought a knife to the after-school program to cut the ropes on the tree fort they were building. He was accused of bringing a "weapon" and all that entailed (which was considerably less fuss 35 years ago, I'm sure).  David remembers being irate that someone would misunderstand his intent and accuse him of wrong doing. This small tale makes me appreciate even more how our sons must feel, when they are first adopted from China. We CONSTANTLY misunderstand them. They have different cultural norms, and when I flip out because they are spitting (I take it as the biggest insult ever!), or slurping their food, they get irate because I just don't understand them. Hmmm. Food for thought anyway.

Update on Austin--and on Sam too!

Not too much to report yet. Austin went to the Dr. and now he has to see a neurologist and get an MRI. Austin has to miss school for the next week (at least) and rest completely. On the upside, I'll get to spend quality time with Austin before we add more boys to our family. I also received an update on Sam. He is 111cm tall, and weighs 18kg!!! He is almost the same size as Leo, the little brother!Leo is 109 cm and 16kg because he is from northern China, almost to Mongolia. The people of that area of China are known to be large. In fact, Harbin is sometimes called the Russian Chinese city!
  Luckily, Ben is still a little bit bigger than both of them. I know Ben is going to be mad when they get taller than him, which they probably will eventually. Ben was tiny when we adopted him, and I don't think he'll be very big ever. This reminds me that exactly two years ago today we first met our sons. The adoption wasn't finalized for a few days, but we took them into our arms and into our hearts on this day in 2010. How cool is that?

Power of Attorney

Remember how annoyed I was ,that I was spending a ton of money (over $700) to have power of attorney forms authenticated and notarized (by four levels of government) Just In Case one of us couldn't travel for some reason? Well, I'm feeling much better about all that now. Austin, our bio 16 year old, had a head injury (missed the mats in track practice) exactly a month ago, and he's finally (after I saw his horrific 5 week report card) admitting that he's having major memory losses and "blanking out" episodes. So, tomorrow, back to the Doctors offices, and I'm assuming he will under-go a bunch more tests. Austin has been faking it and lying to the Dr. and us, as best as he can for a month now, simply because he didn't want to be grounded from sports. He's supposed to attend the Olympic training center (for running) over April break, and stay with his best friend Mike (who is the team captain) while we are gone. And June 19th Austin is supposed to travel to Burma for 2 weeks, then Thailand for one week, and then China for 5 weeks!! He didn't want to admit that he was really affected by his latest concussion.Austin is as smart as they come, and he knows if he is having memory losses he won't be able to participate in these activities. This is his second concussion in 3 years, and he knows the drill.  However, Austin's grades dropped from a 92 average to a 63 average in 4 weeks! And he is still studying for 3-4 hours a night, just not remembering any of the material the next day. So....stay tuned my faithful 3 followers!

Preparing for the worst! Hoping for the Best.

Lately, my friends have been asking me to commit to activities that are in the future. There's a muddy obstacle course run in September that promises to be a blast, and a bunch of my friends are racing it. Normally, I LOVE, LOVE to plan in advance. I used to sign up for 26 mile marathons a year in advance, and then I trained accordingly. This lack of "a plan" is one of the reasons adoption is a big challenge for me. I am stepping out of my box. Until our new sons are all settled, healthy and happy,  I can't  plan anything. I keep telling people that I have to prepare for the worst, and hope for the best. I've told my morning work-out partner that I won't be joining her for our 7:30-9:30 cardio "after China." I'll try to workout in our home gym or on the rowing machine while the boys play, but I may have to take a break for awhile. I'm already scouting Craigslist for a double jogging stroller, just in case I need to revert back to running (oy, my aching knees).  I recently told my afternoon kickboxing friends that I won't be at our 12-1pm class "after China."  I MIGHT be able to attend my three times a week taekwondo class, IF the boys are happy watching cartoons in the playroom while I train. I won't know that for a month or so. Our date night yoga class is definitely a thing of the past. Don't get me wrong. I'm not complaining. I'm just realistic. Our foster children (ages 2, 3, 5 & 8) were extremely needy, and I had to focus on their needs first. I'm fortunate that our children "get it" and they do not seem to resent the sacrifices we will all need to make. This weekend, at a taekwondo tournament in Connecticut, I told the other parents of the competition team that our sons won't be going to the Junior Olympics (in Dallas) in June, and the other parents seemed shocked. Yes, our sons are the most talented athletes on the team, and they easily qualified for Nationals. However, I can't leave two newly adopted children to schelp off to Dallas for a week. Sorry to let the team down and everything, but our new little ones need their mommy (and new siblings) home with them. Maybe, just maybe, maybe, the little guys will be easy going and well-adjusted. Just maybe we could all go to Dallas for the Jr. Olympics. But really, we won't have the extra cash either. So, as we get excited to travel to China, we also prepare for our lives to become a bit more complex.

Finally!

Finally, a little bit of news. I finally, after weeks of headache, I finally mailed off our applications for our Chinese visas. They normally take 4-5 days to process, and we leave in just over three weeks. For the four of us, the visas cost $770.00 to process!! I also sent the Power of Attorney forms to be couriered to Washington DC for authentication. The Power of Attorney is JUST IN CASE one of us ends up not going to China for some reason. With four children in our family, we have to be ready to change our plans on a dime. This last processing (authentication) of the POA is $230.00. Often, I get frustrated on how much these forms cost to process. Frankly, adoption is expensive, and the children are NOT the ones who benefit from all the fees. I know lots of people who would joyfully adopt children if it wasn't so darned expensive. And I haven't even begun to tally up the cost of the trip to China. I received an email from our agency stating that the internal flights (Beijing to Jinan, Jinan to Harbin, Harbin to Guangzhou) total $2500 per person. Times six. We are closing on our home equity loan tomorrow (on the cottage) so that we will have enough to cover the costs. I'm confident that it will be worth every cent; I just get a bit overwhelmed when I add up the fees. This too shall pass. I have the three boys (Ben, Sam and Leo) all packed now, and I just need to focus on the positive side of adoption. There will be two fewer orphans in the world. Two children will have the love and care of a big, loud, chaotic, loving family.

Visa paperwork---STILL

In March 2010, I had no trouble at all applying for our visa to visit China. This time, however, it's been a big pain in the you know what. The application is a pdf file, and the answers MUST be typed on the form in capital letters. For some reason, I can pull up the form on my computer, but I cannot type in the fields and I keep receiving a message that I need to download simplified Chinese, even though I already downloaded the font package a dozen times. So, I tried on two more laptops, all with different versions of Adobe Reader, with no success. David found that he could type on the pdf form from his computer, but the file will not allow him to print the documents. For weeks I've been working on this issue. I even took my computer to the computer fix-it shop, to see if they could help me. They said that the security settings on the pdf file do not allow editing. I asked the Visa service (Caring Hands) if they would type the information on the form for me, and they will if I handwrite out the forms, scan them in and send them to them, and pay an extra $75! Thanks, but no thanks. Finally, after trying and trying to fill out the visa application, I stopped at my friend's house and tried it on her computer. She has Adobe Pro, and she's a computer geek. Sure enough, I was able to finally complete and print the forms! Hooray! Of course, since I was at a friend's house and in a hurry, I made a few mistakes and I have to go back and retype them tomorrow. But at least I know now that I can complete the visa applications finally.

Church, Visa photos and packing

We've spent most of the day getting ready for the arrival of Sam and Leo! At church today, we were interviewed by Father John for the JSC Foundation grant that we applied for a few months ago. The foundation sent him a list of questions to ask us, and it was wonderful talking about our adoptions without feeling like we were being put on the defensive. If we're very, very lucky, the JSC Foundation might help us with some of the travel expenses. In the meantime, we will be closing on our home equity loan to pay the rest of the adoption costs. Truth be told, adopting these two children is frightfully expensive! But they are so worth every penny, and we'll do whatever it takes to make it happen. Then, we went to Wal-Mart to have our visa/passport photos taken. David and I need 5 passport type photos for the adoptions and the visa application, and Ben and John need one photo for the visa applications. While at the store, I shopped for summer clothes for Ben, Sam and Leo. As much as people complain about Wal-Mart's business practices, I do appreciate the fact that I can buy an entire summer wardrobe (it'll be HOT, HOT, HOT in Gaungzhou in April) for three little boys for less than $100! When we finally got home, I washed and packed the clothes in the suitcases. This means that three boys are half packed for the trip already. Ben bounded around the house, thrilled with his new summer clothes, counting his bounty in Chinese. Interestingly enough, both Ben and John are trying to re-learn their Chinese prior to the trip, and they are super nervous and excited! Only four and a half weeks left until we travel. Boys...hold on...Mommy's coming!