Sam's vision

Oops. I forgot to mention that we have received a new medical diagnosis regarding Sam. My bad. In a previous post I mentioned that Sam (age 7 soon!) needs to have a Electronretinography test on his eyes (under sedation) in October. What I failed to realize, because the Dr. only told me the acuity number and not what it actually MEANS, is that Sam is legally blind, in both eyes. I guess that makes me "blond" for not understanding the truth of the number 20/400. Supposedly, Sam has no central vision, only peripheral vision. I say supposedly because Sam rides his bike, he scooters, he runs, jumps and plays on the playground, just like all the other kids. Truly. The only time Sam has problems is with unfamiliar steps. If we walk across a parking lot, for instance, he sometimes tries to step up when it's only a color change in the sidewalk. He "feels" for steps too, when he's walking down an unfamiliar stairway. Other people would Never notice his vision impairment. I'm still not convinced that Sam only sees 20/400 with glasses. In fact, when the Dr. told me the acuity was 20/400, I thought he meant that was Sam's vision without his glasses. If he's really blind, I would've thought the Dr. would have made a bigger deal out of the exam and made a point to let me know that I needed to contact the Association for the Visually Impaired. Instead, we were referred to another Dr., who decided to schedule the ERG. I didn't clue in on the fact that he was blind until I asked the original Dr. to please write a note to the school saying that Sam should be given up-front seating due to his undiagnosed vision issue. Instead, the letter I received states that Sam is legally blind and should have the rights of individuals with disabilities

. Anyway, we won't know a real diagnosis or prognosis until October. In the meantime, we're just enjoying our summer. For the last six weeks, we've been in the midst of installing a new swimming pool, and it's finally ready for swimmers! 

Large families

I find it interesting that most people think we have an ENORMOUS family. In fact, when people ask me how many REAL children we have, I often answer, "Do you mean how many children do we claim on our taxes? Or how many  kids have our last name? Or How many call me Mom? Or how about the number of kids who ask me for money?" It's my way of reminding people that Moms are not always defined by the act of giving birth. I am the mom of 8 children, 6 who live at home still. And because you are so very curious, I'll tell you that four of our children were biological. We've also been foster parents to 5 children, and Mom and Dad to 4 foreign exchange students. So, how many children is that in total? Obviously, I've been feeling a bit defensive about our choice to have a larger than average family. I'm not sure why, exactly, but we do think it gets much easier to parent a bunch than to parent only two children. And we really do enjoy the chaos, wrestling and noise. Most of the time. I'm NOT looking forward to the quiet that settles on the house when the children begin school in September. Maybe it's time to return to work? Or time to think about adopting again? Just kidding.

Learning English and other stuff

Our amazing little guys have been busy, busy, busy! I can't even begin to tell you how wonderfully they fit into our family now. YES, even Leo. He had challenging behaviors for awhile, but you'd never know it now, after being home for four months. And boy, oh boy, can they speak English...incessantly. I am constantly in awe. Leo begins Kindergarten this year (in a few weeks) and Sam will begin First Grade at Lima Christian School. They are healthy. They are happy. They are loved. Sam still needs to have a medical test under sedation (an ERG on his eyes) in October, but we still see no signs of his previously diagnosed cerebral palsy. Leo is a super-quick learner and very loving. No signs of any unknown medical issues with him either. We feel so blessed. In fact, people who meet our boys (including Ben,adopted 2010) would NEVER suspect that they haven't lived here many years. Ben will be in third grade, he reads constantly, and he speaks English with no trace of an accent. Would I adopt an older child again? In a heartbeat.

The BIG QUESTIONS

Finally, it happened. I've been expecting it, and I was (sort of) prepared, but somehow it caught me by surprise anyway. Maybe I should post this on our first blog, but this is the most current one, so I'll talk about it here. On the way home from swimming lessons, Ben began questioning me about his adoption story. We adopted Ben 2 years ago. Since he will be 9 years old next month, and he began his questioning asking if he's REALLY 9 years old, and if August 23 is his REAL birthday. I answered the only way I know how to answer anything; with total and complete honesty. We don't know your exact birthday, Ben, but your documents show August 23. When a baby is found in China, someone takes a guess as to how old the child is and gives them a probable birth date. You were found as a young baby, so we do know that your year of birth is accurate. That led to the discussion of why babies are given up for adoption.

..
Ben seemed ok with the idea that sometimes babies have medical needs and their birth mom's don't have enough money to take them to the Dr. so they take them to the orphanage to find new parents who can take care of them better. What Ben really struggled with is the fact that his foster parents didn't adopt him. Ben lived in a foster home for his entire life, as far as we know. Ben talks about his foster mom taking him to the Dr. ALL the time! Ben declared emphatically that his foster mom had the money to take him to the Dr. "Why didn't she keep me?" Now, I'm pretty sure Ben's foster family wasn't well-off. They ran a farm in China, had dirt floors, and all shared one bed. But in all honesty, trying to explain why a Chinese family can't adopt a foster child had me stumped. I'm sure it's like attempting inter-state domestic adoption here, darn near impossible because of the government. All I could say, repeatedly, is that your foster mom knew that we would be able to take great care of you, provide you with a good education, and the medical care in the U.S. is better. Lame. Lame. Lame. My one wish, right now, would be to be able to contact Ben's foster parents for him. I've tried and only reached dead-ends. So...did I have the right answers for Ben?  Nope. I hope he at least remembers that I didn't lie to him. His foster mom told Ben that he was coming to the United States to go to school, and he would return to China soon. The poor little guy spent six months here before he realized that he wasn't going "home." Advice anyone?

English as a Second Language

Our little guys have been home three months now, and one of the things that continues to amaze me is how FAST our children are learning English. They understand 99.99% of what I say, and they speak English constantly now, even to each other. This morning they asked me when Austin is coming home (he's in China), and I answered, "In three more weeks." Leo went to the calendar, sang the song "Sunday, Monday, Tues, Wed..." three times, and pointed to the day that he thought Austin would arrive home. He was only a few days off the mark! In church, Sam greeted our pastoral associate by asking her "What are you doing?" She wasn't outside greeting parishioners like normal, she was in the back hallway by the bathrooms, and Sam thought it was noteworthy. Leo asked me, "Today, everybody good church! Today, doughnut?" I will admit, I often reward the little guys with french fries and donuts. I know, I know. I shouldn't start bad habits blah, blah, blah. But they are painfully thin, and I want to fatten them up a bit. Unfortunately, I've also gained weight too, by osmosis it seems. Soon, our french fry stops will be a thing of the past, I promise. But I digress. Before we adopted John and Ben, we spent a ton of time worrying about how we were going to communicate with them. We've found that we just don't have any issues with communication. I'm great at reading body language, and our adoptees have been great self-advocators. They manage to let me know what they need and want with no trouble at all. They need lots of attention, lots of love, and lots of french fries! The English language acquisition hasn't been an issue for us. Ben and John have been here two years and most people assume we adopted them as babies. John still speaks with a slight accent, but Ben speaks American English as if he's lived here all his life!

Still Loving Summer

I can't believe it's almost mid-July! This amazingly hot summer is just flying by! We're loving life and loving the summer weather, although our gardens and grass would prefer more rain. The kids' summer reading program started last week, and that has been working out great. Monday-Thursday four of the boys (John, Ben, Sam and Leo) work with a tutor (a graduate student in the SUNY Geneseo Literacy program) for 90 minutes. That gives me 90 minutes to run on the track next to the school. Of course, now I'm incredibly sore too. We're hoping the reading program will prepare both Leo and Sam for school  ( a local

Christian School) in the fall.

After reading, we come home, eat lunch and take naps. Then off to taekwondo lessons (for me) 1-2pm, followed by swimming lessons for the 3 little boys 2:30-3:30, and then taekwondo for the rest of the boys 4:30-6pm. We sit down as a family for dinner by 6:30pm, and watch a family movie until bedtime. On the weekends we usually invite another family over to roast marshmallows around a bonfire. Sound boring? Probably to most people. But I can't think of a better life for us. The kids have been getting along wonderfully, and we feel blessed.

My sentiments EXACTLY!

Once again, another adoptive mom was able to put into words my exact feelings. I'll simply post the link here and hope you take the time to READ IT to the end!