Two weeks home!! One month since the adoptions!

We've been home a little over two weeks, and it's been exactly one month since family day with Sam. Leo's family day was April 12, which is exactly a month before my birthday, and is at the end of this week. I can't even begin to describe how much the children have grown already! First of all, our little guys are simply AMAZING! Both boys can count up to 10 in English already, and they recognize their written names!!! Nothing like a pocketful of pennies to get a kiddo motivated to count. They both know and speak at least a couple of HUNDRED words in English, and they understand much more than we would have thought possible. I can tell them, "We are going to the store, " and they will promptly go get their shoes. If I say things like "If you won't go play downstairs nicely, then it's time for a nap," and they both race for the downstairs playroom.
 Leo has made ENORMOUS progress this past week. Their first swimming lesson was yesterday, and I was geared up for a battle. In China, Leo wouldn't go near the pool. In fact, when I put Leo's bathing suit on in the morning, I had to fight him every inch of the way. I was pretty sure he was going to throw a raging temper tantrum at the YMCA. Surprise, surprise!! Once at the Y, Sam eagerly went in the pool, and Leo gingerly followed. No, Leo didn't embrace the swimming lessons, but he did get wet without any tears. We followed the morning swim lessons with my taekwondo class. Both boys played nicely (in my sight) while I sort of paid attention to my taekwondo class. After taekwondo, I received a call from the school nurse. Connor was really sick, with probably strep-throat and a sinus infection. Off to the school we went, to pick up the big kids, and rush Connor to the doctor. Leo and Sam played loudly and energetically in the doctor's waiting room, charming the pants off the office staff. Since we were already at the doctor's office, both Sam and Leo received their first series of shots-- 5 shots each. Leo did cry then, understandably, but Sam didn't even shed a tear. John told Sam that if he was brave, Mom would get them ice-cream (which I did).
After the doctor appointment,  I took Leo to his second dentist appointment since coming home because he needed a cavity filled. Leo actually acted like a regular little guy, in spite of the stress of seeing the doctor earlier. The first month, whenever Leo was stressed, he started hitting, scratching, and pinching himself (or me), or he threw a tantrum. This time, Leo trotted into the dentist's office holding Ben's hand, and he happily shared his prizes with all the other boys.

  Really, most of my time these days is spent at various doctor appointments! In fact, this week I also had to take Austin to the doctor for the follow-up on his concussion that happened back in February!

One week home!

We've been home one week, and I'm happy to report that things are going remarkably well. Much Better than we anticipated. Both Leo and Sam are no longer terrified of the dogs! Leo is finally sleeping through the night! Sam has new glasses! Leo rarely pinches and hits anymore! Sam began taekwondo lessons! Leo doesn't have to be carried everywhere! Honestly, Sam fits in our family as if he's always been here! Leo adores Connor! Don't get me wrong; adoption isn't always easy. But, we'd do it again in a second. The things that are worth doing are often difficult. Check out this video that another family created. http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=tKoV1HGGe28

New Normal

I haven't blogged in a few days because we are busy settling into our new normal. We've spent many hours this week at the eye Dr., dentist and the pediatrician. Today, we will do the blood draws to test for lead, HIV, Hepatitis, parasites and everything else. It's been a great big help having John to translate for all these exams. The dentist was even able to get bite-wing x-rays because John was able explain to them what they needed to do. 
Leo still does not sleep through the night, which is killing me. We spend the entire night taking turns sleeping with him. We want to keep him out of our bed as much as possible, so one of us lies down in his bed. About an hour after Momma or Baba sneaks out of Leo's bed to sleep in the marital bed, Leo comes to find us, screaming. I remember we went through the same thing with Austin, although he was only two years old at the time. This too shall pass.
I'll eventually add photos to this blog, but in the meantime, if you want to keep up with our daily doings, you can friend me on facebook. https://www.facebook.com/srohlfingpeters

First day home

Our first day home

Today was our first full day as a family. God smiled on us, and the schools all declared a snow day (although the weather wasn’t really that bad at all!). We live in Upstate NY, close to Canada. Usually, we regard 2 feet of a minor inconvenience, and school is only cancelled when there is a major, major blizzard. Our town even boasts a local road-salt mine. So, because God is good, we had an unexpected day together, with all six boys together! Really, it was just Manna from Heaven. Of course, all the kids were wide awake by 4am this morning. The time-zone thing will be the death of me, I swear. David decided to go grocery shopping in the wee hours of the morning, to save me a trip. We’ve been gone almost 3 weeks, our fridge was bare, and he was wide awake at 4am!  Whoo hooo! By 6am, Dad was back from the store, and we were ready for a full breakfast feast. Too bad our new little guys will only eat rice, fruit and congee (rice soup). Really, by the time a snow day was declared this morning, our household had already been awake for 3-4 hours!! But overall, it worked out great.I was able to get an eye Dr. appointment for Sam today, and the Dr. confirmed what we suspected; Sam does have something going on with his eyes; it's called nystagmus. We received a referral to another Dr. and we'll roll with it. The eye doctor appointment took almost 3 hours, and we're lucky we had John to translate and help the boys' get examined. Otherwise, it might have been another few months before we received a diagnosis for Sam. Leo's eyes are perfect. Yippee.
  Connor got to spend a whole lot of time with Leo (DangTong) today. I explained to Connor that Sam has already bonded with John, and Ben and Austin are already tight, so I asked Connor to spend his time today playing with Leo . Or, alternatively, he could help me do all the laundry! Every little boy needs a big boy to show him how to play and be nice, in my humble opinion. By dinnertime, Connor was saying, “Why are you all thinking that Leo is difficult? He just loves me, and does whatever I ask. And he can catch a ball better than Ben!”  PLT.

We ate lunch (If you know me at all, you won’t believe it, but I let the kids eat Ramen noodles. I’m really that exhausted!) and I put everyone down for a nap. We all slept 2 ½ hours. We would have slept longer, but I set an alarm and woke us all up. We have to work hard to get back on East Coast time. I took the kids (4 of them) to taekwondo at 5:30pm. David was asleep on the coach (he left work at 3), and Sam and Leo watched the taekwondo class. Or maybe Sam just lectured Leo the entire time. I’m not really sure what happened, since I was half sleeping. I only know that I MUST intervene whenever there is hitting, pinching etc. The rest, really, I’m just so exhausted at the moment. I’ll get right on that, I promise, if only I could catch up on my sleep. Leo slept with me last night.; which means I haven’t slept in four days.

Exhaused...but..

I'm been absolutely exhausted this entire trip. And I've been awake close to 30 hours straight now, because of our flight cancellation. But before I go to bed, I need to say that we just ADORE our new sons. I don't think I've taken the time to fully capture the emotions; I'm too busy reporting events, most days. The last few days, while traveling, I cuddled our new sons for the entire two day trip home.Yes, I've spent a fair amount of time complaining about United Airlines. They suck, by the way. But I got to spend endless, uninterrupted hours holding and loving our children. Sam and I walked the aisles multiple times, and we found the secret stash of pretzels to raid in the back galley of the plane. Hooray, Momma. That earned me a kiss!   Leo just cries his heart out for me,and meets me gleefully (picture previous post) if I'm gone for even a minute. I've never met a child who needs love and a family more than Leo. And let me tell you about Sam...Oh. My.Word. Sam is terrified of the dogs, but he stands on the carpet (it took him less than 5 minutes to realize our well-trained dogs do not step on carpet), and scolds the 3 dogs. He claps his hands, wags his finger, and throws them treats. So amazingly adorable. I can't wait for our family to meet them. Leo is needy, sweet (when's he's not terrified), and very baby-like. This evening he sang to me the lyrics of "Rock a bye Baby.." because I sing it to him and I rock him every day. If I had any inkling that Leo would learn English so quickly, I really would have picked a different song to sing. Leo was listed on his file as "cognitively delayed." Obviously, he's as smart as a whip. So now, we think, perhaps he was "just" traumatized. In case you're part of an anti-adoption group and you just don't get it, I'm being sarcastic. When I realized that Leo was responding to rocking, the song"Rock a Bye Baby" was the first song that popped into my head. Knowing that Leo doesn't understand English , I just sang the same numbing lullaby, over and over again, just trying to calm him and prevent him from hitting and pinching me and himself.I didn't really think about the lyrics. Now, upon reflection.. Ugh. I'm Sorry. I really could have picked a better song with which to sooth my traumatized child. The whole " Down goes baby, cradle and all." Yikes.So all of you who think I'm a super parent------be gone. I picked the worst-ever baby song to sing to our five year old. I wasn't ready for a baby! And, by the way,  I'm not that tolerant right now of the advice of parents who have less than 8 children!
Leo also has definite and absolute fears and night terrors. He is terrified of the water (making bath time less-than-fun), afraid of the dark,afraid of  being alone,afraid of the toilet, etc. etc...Leo is a child who has been traumatized, in my experience.

Home at long last

April 22^nd 2010 Home at Last!

After what seemed like the  never ending trip, we finally did arrive home, safe and sound. If you ever want to truly question your sanity, travel on a 15 hour (17.5 hour if you count sitting on the tarmac for 90 min)flight with four boys, two of whom don’t speak English, and a United crew that doesn’t believe in food or service. Enough said. Our family met us at the Rochester airport, our friends met us there also with us our oldest son (and a fabulous dinner---Thanks Joan---just what the Dr. ordered!) and everyone is in bed a mere 29 hours later. No, we didn’t sleep on the plane one iota, so I’ll keep this entry amazingly short.

The never ending trip

April 21—leaving Hong Kong--the first attempt

After the first good night’s sleep (we had a double bed, instead of sharing a twin bed!) we left for the airport at 7:20am. At the airport we learned that our flight out of Hong Kong was delayed by 5 hours. Of course, we had to stand in line for an hour, only to find out that by the time we arrive in Newark tonight (and clear customs and immigration for our adopted children) we will have missed the last flight to Rochester. Great. Just great. The United representative offered us no alternatives, and I had to push hard to even get him to check for flights and times for other airlines, and/or alternate routes. My laptop wouldn’t connect to the wi-fi for some reason, and so I couldn’t even tell him exactly what it was that I wanted. Later, when I found a pubic computer available for use, I saw that we could have been moved to a Cathey Pacific flight instead. However, it was already too late by the time I saw it online. Really, this trip is no fun at all. DangTong (Leo) is still acts like a feral cat. He rubs up against us, loving and purring and begging for attention, then suddenly he scratches or hits. His behavior is a good indicator of the quality (or lack thereof) of his orphanage. Last night, John showed Leo the bruises on my arm (from where he has pinched me) and he did act guilty and remorseful. So we have hope that with lots of love, consistency, and attention we will be able to help him heal.

It’s 10 hours later now, and we are STILL just sitting in the airport. We are now waiting for a bus to take us to the Hyatt Regency Shatin (45 minutes from the airport). Yep, our flight was delayed for five hours, then it was canceled entirely. We waited in line at the United Airlines counter for another two hours, in order to be rescheduled for the flight tomorrow. The only good thing I can say about Hong Kong airport is that they have regular toilets!! I’m thrilled that I don’t have to hold our five year old child over the squatty potty anymore. United was NOT at ALL helpful. We’ve received no compensation for our delay, or sympathy; we are lucky they are putting us up in a hotel 45 min away, I guess. As we waited in line, we watched platters of dumplings and other food being wheeled past us, into the lounge. We were not offered any food, drink, or even a comfortable waiting area. Our children sat on the dirty floor, waiting for hours. Sam said several times, in both English and Chinese, “Let’s go.” He also told everyone within earshot that he was HUNGRY. We didn’t dare leave the line to seek out lunch, and breakfast was at 7am! Our rescheduled flight is at 7:30am tomorrow (Sunday), which means we get to leave the hotel at 5am. After receiving our hotel vouchers and bus tickets, we had to wait in line for another hour to go back through immigration, fill out arrival forms (again), and wait to reclaim our baggage. Then we had to walk (what seemed like) another mile to get to the area where we had to wait for the bus to take us to the hotel. Again, we were afraid to go find food because we didn’t want to miss the bus. No one from United would give us (in English or Chinese) any information. We (all the passengers from the canceled flight) were shuffled around like unsuspecting cattle, heading to the slaughter.

DangTong (Leo) still refused to take off his jacket, and he was hot and sweaty during this entire ordeal. As we headed through customs (again) an airline personnel took Leo’s temperature. I was crossing my fingers that we wouldn’t be placed in a medical quarantine! Our poor guy is from Daqing (two hours outside of Harbin) where it’s bitter cold, so he’s used to wearing many layers all the time. We can’t convince him that it’s ok to take off his jacket/sweater/shirt/long underwear, even when sweat is just pouring down his face. Every morning he dresses in his layers, and we don’t want to fight with him over clothes. We just hope Leo will eventual mimic the other children and dress for the warmer weather.

As I write this, we are now sitting in a meeting room on the 24^th floor of the Hyatt Shatin. Apparently, United Airlines sent twenty of us to this hotel, without confirming it with the hotel first, and there are no rooms available. The Hyatt staff brought us orange juice and water, but it’s 6:30pm now, and our children have had only a few apples and candy since breakfast at 4am. I didn’t pack much food, since we were stuck in the airport yesterday, and were supposed to be flying all day, with meals provided. Fortunately, since the hotel reserves the “family suites” for large groups, we were one of the first of our “layover group” to actually get assigned a room!!  A bunch of other people weren’t as lucky. After not eating all day, we ran at the dinner buffet by 7:30pm, and it was one of the nicest buffets I’ve ever seen. Rooms full of food, of all types, and the children ate a ton. During dinner, Leo was playing with his water glass and Sam told him in English “No.” Leo responded, in English, “Be nice.” Lol. We let the kids swim for 30 minutes (Leo still won’t go near the pool), and we put them to bed by 9:30pm. We have a 4am wake-up call and a 5am bus to catch.