Doctor

After making the decision to adopt two children, instead of one, I feel at peace finally. I know that Austin will have a fit when he finds out we are adopting two kids instead of one, but we will cross that bridge later. For now, I'm just searching websites for our sixth son. I asked WACAP to send us a file on a cute little 4.5 year old boy who lives in northern China, and I immediately sent the medical records to the Doctor to review. We also received medical records of another boy who is 5 years old and cute as a button. The pediatrician is an international adoption expert, and we trust her judgement implicitly. After she reviews the lab reports etc. she will tell us possible medical conditions. In December,when we met her to talk about KangChao, the doctor reviewed his file carefully and gave us the good news that KangChao appears to be healthy. KangChao is officially diagnosed with cerebral palsy, but we (and the doctor) saw no signs of CP in the 20 min. long video. We can't always know all the medical history of adoptees, of course, so we try to get ready to parent a child with any number of medical issues. I'm trying hard to be patient and wait for the doctor to call me about this 4.5 year old boy named Dang Tong and the 5 year old named Lian Mo. So..if the doctor would just hurry up and call me

video, disappointment, and decision

Yesterday, we finally received the video of the boy that our WACAP representative really, really liked. A month ago I sent her an email asking if she saw any "special" little guys when she was visiting Shandong last month because we are still toying with the idea of adopting two children again. Well, she was smitten by one little boy, who is missing a few fingers and toes, and probably needs casting for one foot. However, it takes awhile for the videos to be burned onto Cd etc. so we just received our copy of the boy's interview yesterday. The video was extremely disappointing. It's a 9 min. video, and half the time the camera is pointed at the kid's shoes, or at the IQ type test that he is taking. It's just not a good video. The face photo we received last month gave both David and John the impression that the child was cognitively delayed, and now the video did little to dispel that idea. The child never actually speaks on the video, at least that I can hear, and he doesn't even seem to know that he is supposed to answer the questions. Kang Chao, our almost 6 year old son-to-be, was definitely listening while the adults talked during his interview, and you could see a whole range of emotions on his face as he was being questioned. What struck the woman at WACAP about this particular 5 year old was his empathy for others. A 3 year old came in next, sobbing, and this little guy did everything he could to comfort the toddler, including giving up his new toy. While that is certainly a darling and admirable trait, our family is athletic and academic, and we all felt that this particular 5 year old will not be a good fit. What I did learn, however, is that we both felt let-down and disappointed. It was like an unexpected pregnancy, when you found out that you really weren't pregnant after all (or you miscarried), and then realized how upset you were about not being pregnant. Does that make any sense at all?? All along, we haven't been certain if we should play it "safe" and adopt one child, or go for broke and adopt two. The fact that this particular 5 year old boy wasn't "our sixth son" truly sent me the message that we are called to adopt two children again. We hate it that people think we're nuts. We hate it that our almost 16 year old is embarrassed to call us his family. I worry that our 16 year old will totally rebel, and move in with is aunt and uncle ( who totally think we're crazy and encourage him to live with them, play video games and watch TV). So..here we are...struggling through the day, wondering WHY us? Why are we the ones called to adopt?? OF course we know exactly why. We are called because we CAN. We have the money, the room in the house, the energy and the capacity to love and parent. And we are driven to give all we've got, 100%, all the time. I've run 7 marathons, our kids are ranked nationally in running and Taekwond0 (2 of the boys competed in Jr. Olympics in California this year) and we are doers. We are called because WE CAN. David and I often talk about how other people criticize us or call us crazy....and we've decided that people do that because we make their lives seem mediocre, so they criticize us to make themselves feel better. So, we are going to ignore everyone else and do what we know is right. With God's help, we are going to find another little boy, our sixth son.

Maybe...?

On June 7, I posted that David said no. We were discussing (on our way to the fingerprint appointment) whether we should consider adopting two little guys this time too, and at that time David decided no. Yet, here it is, almost two months later, and we are still discussing the idea. David keeps renting movies that feature large families (Cheaper by the Dozen, Meet the Duggars etc.) and we are both excited about the idea of having a houseful of boys. Finances aside, the more children we have, the easier things seem. In fact, when Austin was at camp this month, having only three boys at home was strange. It was just too quiet. Now we know who the real instigator is, Austin, since there was minimal bickering when you were gone!!! Ha ha! We have been asking the kids regularly....one or two little guys? Just like us, their answer varies depending on the day. We all know that we have the room and the experience to parent six children. But should we? When we had the four foster children, we had 7 children in the house, plus 2 dogs and 11 puppies!!!! The 11 (unexpected) puppies did totally wear me out, since I had to bottle feed them every two hours, but the 7 kids wasn't too crazy. Yesterday, with four boys in the house, David and I somehow managed to take a 2 hour nap. Yes, 6 boys would be a blessing. If only Austin would get on board. He commented yesterday that he feels like the white minority in our house! Should we wait for him to graduate high school (in 3 years) and then pursue adoption again? I'll be 50 in three years....It's hard to know the right thing to do. We will be receiving a video soon of another little guy that is in the same province as Kang Chao. Hmm.

Documents to China!

Yesterday, we received an email that our dossier was sent to China! Finally! It usually takes a few more weeks to receive a Log In Date. After that, we need to receive a letter of confirmation, and the I800 approval. What all this means is that we still have 6 months to wait, at least. We set a "wishful target date" of December 14 to travel. That would be exactly one year after we put in our application, and it would have us traveling over Christmas break. It will be tough to leave some of the kids home over Christmas, but if we travel over a school break time then we can at least take one or two of the kids with us. They can't afford to miss two weeks of school, but one week isn't too bad. Also, we have a cruise booked for February, and we booked a room for Logan, just in case we have him then too!

More information!

We've been busy, busy, busy as usual and the time has flown. Connor and J.P. (John has adopted the nickname) and I went to California so that they could compete in the Junior Olympics in Taekwondo. We've also been at our cottage on Conesus Lake for the past three weeks on vacation. Even on vacation though, we continue to move towards our adoption of KangChao. When we were in the SanFrancisco airport we saw an adorable little travel suitcase with a panda bear on it, and I almost bought it for Logan. Yes, we are still calling KangChao Logan...we've toyed with the name Leo, but Logan has "stuck." In the end, I didn't end up buying the panda bag because it was a little too girly. Then yesterday I received an email from a parent who adopted a boy who is good friends with Logan!! The following is from an email I received.

"Luke told me that KangChao plays good and slides on the slide with him and runs and plays well. He told me The ladies in pink were teaching KungChao to write and cut and he was 5 when I left, and that is young! Luke said KangChao is nice and sweet and innocent. Hope this helps I will look through the pics the orphanage gave me of Luke growing up and see if we have any with your son in them. "

timeline

Yesterday, Elizabeth Rose told me that we might be able to travel to get Logan by the end of this year. I'm not holding my breath, but I'm optimistic. I also received an email with photos of another little guy that Elizabeth Rose met when she was in China last month. Apparently, this little one impressed her, and she wants us to help find him a family. Hmmm...maybe we should reconsider adopting two little guys this time. David said no in early June, but he's been renting movies that feature large families lately and he's having a change of heart. Yes, six boys would be a handful, but we have already switched from a man-to-man defense to a zone defense. It's not any more difficult, most days, to have 5, 6 or 7. We often have the boys' friends over for days or weeks at a time. We had Austin's friend stay with us for ten days earlier this month, and other than buying more milk than usual, it didn't change anything. We rarely go skiing or on vacation without bringing a few of the boys' friends. Six boys? I say yes! Maybe even before the end of this year, with any luck!!

The most recent adoption followed this timeline:
PA (pre-approval) 7/19/10
DTC (documents to China) 12/30/10
LID (Log in date) 1/13/11
LOA (letter of acceptance) 2/24/11
I800 (US homeland security) 3/15/11
Cable from Consulate 3/24/11
A5 (article 4) 4/8/11
TA (Travel approval) 4/21/11
CA 5/19/11

I 800A approval

We had a super busy week this week!! My dad and stepmom flew up from Florida to attend John and Ben's baptism and first communion. Our tenant moved out of the cottage, and I spent several days cleaning and getting ready for the grandparents' visit. It's also Father's Day weekend. To top it all off, the three youngest boys had a taekwondo tournament all day on Saturday, and next week we are flying to California so that they can compete in the Junior Olympics. To celebrate all these events, we had a big family and friends cookout on Sunday at the cottage. It was wonderful to see all the kids together and happy! Then, on Monday, we received our I-800A approval. I think this is the last document we need before WACAP can send our dossier to China. Hopefully, China will accept all of the paperwork from the dossier we used in 2010. This will make it much easier on us, and a little less expensive.