Sunday, January 15, 2012

Other people's perceptions

Almost 10 years ago, I was widowed. Only a year later, I got engaged, to my husband of almost 8 years now. And we're still deeply in love. But 9 years ago, when we got engaged, we set our wedding date for 18 months off, only to appease OTHER PEOPLE. Upon discussion and reflection, we finally decided that people who were against me remarrying, would be against it anyway. No matter when it happened. We knew that we knew what we were doing. We were in our late 30's, not lust filled teens. So, we changed our wedding date, and we married, less than 2 years from my late-husband's death. Now, once again, we've heard criticism from the choir. This time, it's not our good friends or family who were concerned for me; it's a website. Yes, we've been tried and persecuted via the web. There is a website that quotes our adoption blog and claims that 1. We are child collectors, and 2. We adopted John so that he could establish a business and subsequently make us rich.
Of course, anyone who knows us, will laugh or gasp. For some reason, I am actually a bit upset. I even took the time to explain that John has earned $75 on his business, and that he kept 100% of the money. And it cost over $20,000 to adopt. How many $10/page letters would John have to write to "make us rich." Why do I actually care what these weirdos think? It did make me want to remove all photos of our family. I did remove photos of our house. Ick. Weird people have it "in" for us because we are "child collectors." According to this group, international adoption is bad, bad, bad!! Really bad. And we're bad people because we adopt. Hmmm. Anyone who has seen the gains made by John and Ben could testify otherwise. Why do I even give a crap? I don't know. But it does bother me that I'm being held up as the bad guy, when our adoptions have been great for everyone involved. This is why we held off over a year telling people that we are adopting again. Ugh. Didn't they learn in kindergarten, the golden motto? If you don't have anything nice to say then Shut the Hell Up!