Thursday, March 1, 2012

Shopping! And governments making adoption even more difficult--grr

I'll start this post by being upbeat. I prefer to look on the bright side of things, so I'll blog about the things I'm doing to get ready to go get our boys! Last week, just before we left on vacation, I bought another car seat. Ben is over the age of 8, so he can legally wear a regular seatbelt now. We'll let Sam take over Ben's carseat next month We still needed a carseat for Leo though. After much research and hours of shopping, I finally made the all important purchase. Then, upon reflection, I ended up returning it. Why, you ask? Because I realized that if the two boys don't have the EXACT SAME carseat, there will be trouble. I've come to accept that siblings fight, constantly, over the dumbest things. I don't want to have one boy decide that the other carseat is the better one of the two. Yes, it's ridiculous, but I have to anticipate the feelings of inequity and head them off at the pass. I also bought three of the exact same cameras for Ben, Sam, and Leo. I remember that Ben was thrilled to have a camera in China, and he took thousands of digital pictures when we adopted him. Now, all three boys can capture photos of their adoption trip. If they take enough photos, the odds are good that a few of them will be worth printing! When we were in Florida last week, I purchased three sets of water wings for the boys. Ben loved the pool from the minute he joined our family, but he couldn't swim of course. I'm happy that we are going to Guangzhou a little later in the year this time, so that the swimming pool there should be open. I was looking at bathing suits for Sam and Leo, but I'm waiting for an update on Sam's weight before buying them. Then I bought gifts for the guides etc. I read that they like to receive cosmetics and cigarettes, but both of those items are so NOT ME. I found, instead, what I think is the perfect gift for anyone. Novelty flash drives! I bought a few that looked like Tweety bird, Wiley Coyote, Star Wars guys, and three of the "Angy Bird" ones. Our exchange students all told me that electronics are more expensive in China than here, which is weird, since they are made in China. But I believe them. Xiao took home a suitcase of electronics when he returned to China. So, small, easy to pack, cute, flash drives will be the gifts. All these preparations make me sad for those parents who wish to adopt, but are stopped by the barriers governments put into place. Now, the CCCWA (the entity that controls adoptions in China) is going to change the rules and make it more difficult for families to bring home waiting children. There are so very many special needs children waiting, but the "Special Focus" category is only going to be offered to boys in the future, who have significant special needs. Statistically, quite a few more girls are adopted than boys, and supposedly China is trying to bring the numbers in balance. However, there are also more girls abandoned because of the one child policy. Also, the CCCWA is going to stop letting adoptive parents re-use their dossier, and limit adoptions to a single child. If you recall, we decided to pursue our adoptions in December of 2010, because we were allowed to reuse our dossier. It made the adoptions more affordable and we had to do less paperwork. We also believe adopting two children at once is much more practical than adopting one this year, and another the following year. Honestly, I think these changes that are being implemented only add to the costs for adoptive parents, and many folks won't be able to add to their families through adoption. The list of waiting children will grow, and the children will suffer. It's just sad. It does make me appreciate that we put in our application when we did though!! I am, once again, very happy that we didn't let others influence our decision to adopt. If we waited several years, we would have found that we wouldn't qualify anymore. God is good.