Monday, July 2, 2012

Staying home

Anyone who knows me, knows that I am NOT a homebody. I like to be on the GO, GO, GO! I plan months in advance, and we usually go to friends' houses or entertain at our house every weekend. Although I love our home, I'm a type A++ personality and thrive on exercise, activities and lots of stimulation. (This is probably why I still don't know how to work a remote control). However, when you adopt older children, we have found that it's important to just stay home. A lot. Staying home, even when the kids seem to be adjusting well, goes against my normal inclinations;but we believe that it's the most important thing we can do to help our children adjust. Our new little guys still don't know our extended family, and they get confused/stressed when we have a bunch of people over. They get super stressed when we upset their normal routine. For example, every single day, at least 100 times a day, the little guys ask about what we are going to do today and tomorrow. " Eat lunch, and little sleep today?"  "Baba working?" "Connor and John running?" "Swimming lessons?" "Today, taekwondo?" It's readily apparent that routines are what make them feel secure. Makes sense to me. If my life was suddenly completely out of whack (if I were to be kidnapped by very nice aliens, and forced to live on a very nice planet, called Mars), I might feel better knowing that every day followed a specific pattern.
 And I might be confused meeting a bunch of people too. We decided not to attend any of the 4th of July celebrations/parties for this specific reason. The Independence Holiday is a BIG deal on Conesus Lake, and we've had to decline a bunch of invitations so that we can stay home and just vegetate. Maybe we'll roast marshmallows or watch a movie, but big crowds are out of the question this year. It's just too confusing for Sam and Leo. Yesterday, Leo ran to the car of the electrician and tried to give him a hug. Yep. The electrician is an older gentlemen, and Leo thought that he must be another relative.
Which brings me to another point. How do I nicely tell our relatives (and close friends) that it's confusing to our children to be greeted with hugs? Our adopted sons are just learning to comfort (or apologize) to each other with a kind word and/or a hug. They do not know these friends and relatives one iota, and it's weird to be hugged by nice "strangers."