Simply do not accept the premise of the question

David and I were watching West Wing (on DVD) the other day, and the public relations person on the show made an interesting statement. If you don't like where the conversation is going, do not accept the premise of the question. This of course, means simply refuse to engage. Lately, I've been trying harder NOT to accept the premise of the question. For example, Austin (who's been away at various camps for 3 weeks) asked, repeatedly, insistently, and loudly, why HE is always the one who has to do the dishes. Since we have a rotating monthly schedule that is clearly posted on the whiteboard, and Austin has been gone for 3 weeks, we all know that Austin doesn't always do the dishes. I had to almost physically restrain myself from marching Austin over to the calendar and angrily pointing out the last time he actually did the dishes. No. No. No. Deep breaths Mom, and just refuse to accept the premise of the question. I kept changing the subject and couldn't be drawn into the dishes debate. It was just exhausting, but it did work, at least temporarily. As I've mentioned several times in this blog, Austin (our bio son, almost 16) is currently our most difficult child. Teenagers. Ugh.Wish they could always stay little and adore Mom!

Names!

After MUCH debate and discussion, I THINK we've settled the name debate. If you read our first blog, when we were adopting John and Ben, the name argument didn't end until the month before we went to China. However, this time, I think we've decided on both of their names already. Here are some of the names we have been considering: Tobias, Leo, Isaiah, Samuel, Isaac, Alexander, Maxwell, Logan, Elias, and Mark. I conceded to the name Logan, for KangChao, under the condition that son number six (Tong) is named Isaac. What do you think? Austin, John, Connor, Ben, Logan and Isaac. We also have Leah (age 28) and Katelyn (age 21), but we rarely see them anymore since they live out of state. Then, of course our extended family, our exchange student children, Camila (22), Xiao (19), Cheng (17). Whew!

Comments?

I added the feedjit application (or whatever it's called) recently to this blog and I've been amazed that people actually read it. I write for Logan and Issac (??) because I'm going to make this into a book for them to read when they are old enough; however, I will admit that it's fun to see that others read my ramblings. Last year, I used a blog2print software and bound our first adoption blog (edited for content) http://petersadoption.blogspot.com. John is really motivated to read lately because he found our blog to book on our bookshelves. When he saw the book had photos of him, and lots of my thoughts and feelings, he decided to try to read in English, for a change. Anyway, please, if you read this blog, leave me some comments. I will NOT publish the comments in my future book for the boys. I'm just curious about your thoughts too. Also, I love to read others' blogs, so send me your links too!

How tall are they?

This morning John (otherwise known as J.P.) wanted to know the height of his new brothers. Since arriving home 15 months ago, J.P. has been a bit preoccupied with height. He's grown over well over a foot this year (and gained 30 pounds), but he's still on the short side, at 5'3", at age 15. Soon, however, J.P. will be taller than I am, and that is his true goal. He always stands next to me and claims he's taller. The other day he had me stand next to him in the sun so that he could compare the size of our shadows, finally conceding that I am, in fact, still a smidge taller. Anyway, we grabbed a measuring tape, pulled up the medical records of Dang, Tong and Fu, KangChao, and compared their heights to Ben's height. Ben is 110 cm, KangChao (Logan or Leo) is 99cm, and Tong is 84 cm. All this was accomplished with a bit of teasing....J.P. teasing Ben that Logan will be taller than him, since the medical report on Logan is a year old already. Ben got all defensive, and told J.P. to stop picking on him for being small. All good stuff. Everyone is super excited about the new brothers, and we CONSTANTLY debate their names. Of course, Austin, the kill-joy, isn't home yet from camp.

Hei LongJiang Province

Since May, I've been a member of two yahoo groups, Shangdongkids and JinanSWI. These two groups have been wonderful sources of information about traveling to get Leo (I'm trying out the name Leo, instead of Logan, to see if it sticks). In fact, I've been able to on-line chat with a few people who have children who know and remember Leo!! This has been invaluable to us! Leo currently lives in Jinan, which is a few hours south of Beijing (5 hours by car, I've heard). Now, I'm busily researching the home of Dang, Tong. He is from the Northernmost province in China, Hei Longjiang Province, in the city of Daqing. That means that when we travel to China, we will travel the entire west coast, North to South! It's like traveling from Maine to Florida. OY. I do hope that we can fly from one city to the next. Dang, Tong is the furthest north, several hours by plane north of Beijing, and KangChao (Leo? Logan?) is half way to Guangzhou. We have to spend at least the last week in Guangzhou at the end of the trip to complete the medical exam and the US swearing in ceremony. I wish I could find a yahoo group from Dang, Tong's orphanage, so that I could get more information about how we will travel from Jinan to Daqing. This is going to be quite the trip!

Yippeeee!!!!

The Doctor called last night with wonderful news! Dang, Tong is perfect for our family! We found our sixth son! He's primarily healthy, and he's been growing steadily. He's extroverted, energetic, and talkative. He's a Peters for sure. SIX BOYS...WOW! So we're back to the name lists, trying to find a name we can all agree upon. I like Samuel, but John doesn't. David is still stuck on Logan (for son number 5), while I am resisting because it was the name of one of our foster children. How about Leo for our 6 year old, and Isaiah for our 4.5 year old? We all liked the name Elias, until John told us Eli in Chinese means lazy and won't work. We are all super excited! Austin is at camp though, so we can be enthusiastic now and deal with his discontent later. Life is funny. Austin simply adores Ben (calls him Xiao Ben--little Ben in Chinese) and he carries him around and spoils him. Yet, he'll be the one who will complain about the adoption of two boys. He just doesn't like change or transitions, while the rest of us roll with the punches. So we are celebrating this week, knowing next week we can listen to Austin complain.

Doctor

After making the decision to adopt two children, instead of one, I feel at peace finally. I know that Austin will have a fit when he finds out we are adopting two kids instead of one, but we will cross that bridge later. For now, I'm just searching websites for our sixth son. I asked WACAP to send us a file on a cute little 4.5 year old boy who lives in northern China, and I immediately sent the medical records to the Doctor to review. We also received medical records of another boy who is 5 years old and cute as a button. The pediatrician is an international adoption expert, and we trust her judgement implicitly. After she reviews the lab reports etc. she will tell us possible medical conditions. In December,when we met her to talk about KangChao, the doctor reviewed his file carefully and gave us the good news that KangChao appears to be healthy. KangChao is officially diagnosed with cerebral palsy, but we (and the doctor) saw no signs of CP in the 20 min. long video. We can't always know all the medical history of adoptees, of course, so we try to get ready to parent a child with any number of medical issues. I'm trying hard to be patient and wait for the doctor to call me about this 4.5 year old boy named Dang Tong and the 5 year old named Lian Mo. So..if the doctor would just hurry up and call me