We went to “The Italian Restaurant” (around the corner from the hotel) for the third time this week. We go there early (4pmish) and it’s been working out well. First of all, they are used to seeing Americans. We do not get stared at, and no one asks John a bunch of questions that make him uncomfortable. We are usually the only people there at that hour, so it’s relatively fast to eat there. And they have great French-fries! The boys love French-fries! And John likes their pizza too. Things are improving with DangTong (Leo). He only threw food once during dinner, and he immediately he looked guilty and said Sorry. It was like he just couldn’t help himself. I didn’t have to remove all the utensils out of his reach this time, and we ate in relative peace. I’m finding that Leo enjoys being rocked. I don’t have a rocking chair, but I do hold him like I would a baby, rock him with my body, and sing soothing lullabies. John and David think it’s ridiculous that I treat Leo as I would a baby, but it does seem to be helping his behavior. Hey, whatever works!
We had our friends from Seattle over to “our house” again tonight. Yep, we had 6 boys and two adults in a hotel room, pretending we actually had a normal social life. Their bio son is the same age as Ben, and really, it’s just nice to hang out with English speaking, intelligent people this week!! We exchanged emails, and you never know. Maybe they’ll join us on a cruise or something, sometime in the future! Leo is slowly showing signs of improvement. He didn’t hurt anyone at all today, only hit David over the head (with a gameboy) once, and he’s not self-mutilating anymore. We take that as a good sign.
Our friends from Seattle are leaving tomorrow, and our exchange student’s parents (lived with us’09-‘10) are flying down from Lanzhou (5 hour flight) to see us for a few days. We can’t wait to see them!! I told John to tell them to spoil the heck out of Ben and Sam, which they LOVE to do, and leave Leo to me. They always come loaded with gifts, and they tend to just love our children to death!! But I still want Leo to only want me, for now, so that I can help him adjust. Again, we need to keep him as close as possible and just rock and hold him all day. I’m not sure Cheng’s parents will “get” that Leo has special needs and we need to keep him close to us. John said they are going to think you are a bad mom. I assured him that they know me better than that. Their son lived with us for a year! They know that if I’m doing something different with Leo, it’s because he needs help. Fingers crossed.
I'm pleased to hear that Leo is calming so quickly - I know it feels like a long haul - but I'm extremely impressed - well done mom!! With a couple of ours we still need to kind of do that 'regression' thing in the evening...it's like she needs her love tank filled so that she can draw on it during the day and come back for a fill up that evening. There are often 'hidden needs' - and the emotional are often most critical! In short - holding, rocking, and babying sound like exactly what he needs - a chance to go back - build a bond with parents that he's never been able to do - and then grow forward again! Great stuff here!
ReplyDeletehugs - prayers - continued success!
aus and co.